Had a discussion today with my kids about certain words and phrases that I’d rather they don’t say. It started because my son blurted out “Oh My God…watch this!” and then squirted his sister in the face with a water gun. I told him, “Please don’t say that. That’s like yelling up to God to have him stop what he’s doing and check you out. He’s busy up there! Let him do his thing and only call him like that when you really need him.” So my son then asked if it’s ok to say “Oh My Pants!” I said, “I guess so.” Right? I mean, God’s smart…does he know that even though my son said Pants, he really meant God? Is that just as wrong? Nah…I’ll let that one slide.
But then he started asking about using other words in place of God like ” Oh My Balls”…and “Oh My Cans.” He meant it innocently, but c’mon! I can’t let him go around saying that! I told him to stick with Pants. But then my older daughter asked “Why? What’s wrong with cans?” So I then had to explain how some people call breasts “cans”. (OK, some people including me.) So of course, the next question was from my son, “Well then is Oh My Boobies ok?” Nope. Sorry, son.
After another few minutes of inserting normal words into the phrase and having them sound just as dirty, I gave up. If you hear a couple little kids blurting out “Oh My Sausage!” just please remember I tried.